I have been in a cockroach war lately. Thursday night (08-04-2005) I was chasing a big cockroach around and failed to kill it; it got me pretty riled up. Friday night we came home from bowling, and walked up to the front door. There he was. The big nasty cockroach right on the bottom of the base of the front door, as if taunting me. Still pretty excited and pissed off from the failed chase the night before, I saw my oppurtunity to kill one of the suckers. Knowing they run fast and it would soon be gone and no cockroach whacking weapon nearby, I reeled back my foot, took aim, and swung my foot like I was kicking a game winning, 53 yard field goal in overtime, right into the (very solid) wood base under my front door. Immediately my toe hurt, and I ripped off my shoe. Melissa, who was close behind me, saw me go for the roach then start screaming; she thought I had been bit!. She thought "Oh no, now we've got attach roaches!" I went to the doctor and Saturday and confirmed the toe was broken into many jigsaw pieces. They suggested I buy some roach spray.

Oh yeah, the roach got away.

Here's what people at work (Stock Building Supply) had to say:

From my boss, Kevin "Make friends with the roaches! Do you watch Fear Factor? Mmmm… tasty."

From my compadre Mark "Curtis----or should i say Mr de So Toe----"

From my compadre Dick "That reminds me - I had a cockroach call me on the phone the other day and he asked some strange questions about you. I just figured you owed him some money or something. I didn't let on that I knew your whereabouts." and this little story:

Nasty Bug

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang.

When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing
there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and
scampered off.

The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell
rang again. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there
again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped
him before running away.

The third evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell
rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet
again. It leapt at him and stabbed him several times before
running off. The gravely injured man managed to crawl to the
telephone and summoned an ambulance.

He was rushed to intensive care, where they saved his life.

The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds. He asked the
man what happened, so the man explained about the 6 foot
cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near fatal stabbing.

The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Yes, there's a nasty
bug going around."